What the hell insurance? No, what the hell world? How hard is it to find a place that’ll do a cheap diagnoses for Dyslexia. Even colleges are like 1500 to 2000 just to get tested.

I asked my doctor where I could go and they sent me to a phycartic hospital. Where they referred me to a psychologist who told me they could treat me and but not diagnose me.

Brace yourself for a rant and several misspellings!!!!!

Doctor, I don’t need treatment. Hasn’t been a good program ever. And the understanding of the problem doesn’t go past the common “Oh so like you read letters backwards and stuff.” No you damn person that’s not all!!!! It jacks you on everything! It throws all your information into a blender and poors…Pures…POURS out a jumble shake with only a few bits of regonizable stuff.

You like right and left, east and west. Forget that crap. I have to wave my arm like a freakin bafoon just to remember.  Tell time on an anolog clock, hell I don’t know what “quarter till or after” means.

What’s that story problems, “Jane had 17 apples, Bill had 9, how many did john have in the total is 4s?” no wait I read that wrong the number was 6 the word was if, and well heck copy the total wrong too. It’s not 4S it’s 9E no wait, that wrong too. Will screw you math!

What?! Oh you want me to sound out the word I don’t know how to spell. No problem! Wait its not “constantinopool,” sure sounded like it. Look it up! How the hell do I look it up if I can’t spell it. Spell check already freaked out saying “No Spelling Suggestions ya moron”. Google it! Why didn’t I think of that. oh wait I did. It only took me an hour to find it, when you could have helped me in a minute ya damn jerk.

Fuck you brain and your nerological diffensionce (Can’t spell either of those words, huh.) Screw you insurance for possibly not covering the learning disablity just because its, well, a learning disablity and not some kind of health problem like insomkneeia.

And the best kicker woman in HR department for whose company is demanding proof. Your niece isn’t taking drugs for dyslexia. There is no medicen out there that can fix the messed up signals that your eyes and ears tells your brain! It’s not skizophnia! It’s not even ADHD or ADD or whatever its called.

And ignorent parent, your kid didn’t just grow out of the problem. It didn’t just magically disappear because now he can read like everyone else. He adapted and developed tricks to read and spell. And he probably doesn’t want you to know he still can’t tell the difference between there, their, and they’re because they all sound the same and his brain keeps picking out the common spelling THERE even though he meant to write THEIR. And a helpful hint why it’s doing that, BECAUSE ALL OF THEM START WITH “THE” AND HAS THE SOUND “R”! He’s stuck with Deslixia, no dislexia, wait Dyslexia! And he can either learn to live with it or he can let it hinder him and keep him from becoming that Doctor / Astrownot he wants to be.

Yo, guy / girl. Sigh one more time the teacher calls on me to read. And I’ll chuck this ridiculously large book at you.

And for that matter, Teacher / Assistant Teacher.  Quit giving me those pitying and yet annoyed looks every time I ask you to repeat and slow down.

Hey school, don’t drag me into another class for other specials thinking it’ll make me feel better. It doesn’t.

And if, Friend, you got to the bottom of this gaint rant without suffering a mind bleed from all the misspellings and bad grammar. I solute you! Because by now there would be some asshole / Jerk face screaming at the top of his lungs “What are you fucking retarded!” Then teasing me for 12 years of schooling.

And friend, THIS IS IMPORTANT. No, its not the same for everyone and no, you aren’t suffering like me, or was. I’m sorry if you think it is, but there is a difference. Like that time in class when you manage to read all the assign work on time and comprehened it. I still didn’t get past the fifth chapter and can’t even pronouce the main characters name let alone half the words.

Ya know I went to a convention last year. Asked for advice on my “issue”.  The overwhelming amounts of “Wow, I’ve never met a Dyslexic before” was quite amazing. It’s like we’re somehow Unicorns or Leprechons. They know we exist, just didn’t know we were so close.

What else I notice, the amount of people that yell “I’m Dyslexic,” just because they can’t spell. Normally I wouldn’t care. Normally I just roll my eyes, but today (if you hadn’t notice) I’m a little salty. Because it is surprisingly hard to find someone that understands, that gets it, and doesn’t say something retarded like, “So you’re good with numbers.” For the record people, I AM NOT GOOD AT MATH!

Dyslexia affects us in many different ways. Yes some of them are really, really good at math. Some of us can’t speak straight. Some can’t even write recognizable letters. I’m not kidding when I say our minds are like blenders. It mixes, mashes, scrambles, and purees nearly every bit of info you get.

So bottom line: Dyslexia, you suck. World, your mean. And yes you god damn troller I know it’s “You’re.”