I thought I had made all the right moves.
I thought I had the right people and that we were all looking in the same direction.
Nope.
I’ve been missing for a while and a large portion of that is because I just didn’t know how to come back to this place and say “Hey, I failed again!” because this time the failure felt so much bigger than anything I’d done before.
I had a marketing company and for half a year it looked so promising until it suddenly wasn’t. I’ll skip the dramatics and just say, it didn’t end well. I missed warning signs, I chose the wrong people, and money just couldn’t stay in our pockets for various reasons. In 2019, I closed our doors and hide under my covers in shame.
It’s not even a stretch to say I disappeared from the digital world. I wiped myself from existence as much as possible because I was embarrassed, not just by the closing of my business but by all the failures. The audiobook barely sold, the Patreon never got off the ground, and I could never sell a copy of any book. And I felt like this blog was more a monument to my shame than to my success.
So I wallowed in self-pity, but there is only so much of that you can do.
Instead of coming back and saying, “HERE’S MY FIVE YEAR PLAN TO SUCCESS,” and list out what I’m going to do to get my life back on track and all the projects I have a plan and want to, I’m just going to say,
FUCK IT!
That’s never helped me! So FUCK IT!
Here’s what you need to know:
I randomly started a new podcast with my little sister and I’m having a blast!
I’m making content on TikTok and LOVING IT! Here’s my fav video I’ve made so far:
@mydeslexicworld #greenscreen @deannajeane #halfwitsisters #roadto1k follow us as we make our first choose your own adventure game #fyp #PumpkinSeason #roadto1ksubs
The only future plans I have: I’m reviving both this blog and my patreon. It’s going to be a minute because I have to do all the heavy lifting, but I’ll get it done. Oh and I’m launching a game with my sister, which you can learn about through our podcast.
I’ve hit the point where I just want to do things again and enjoy the process. I had to remind myself that failure is part of that process and it’ll happen again and again. I just have to learn from it.
So, here I am once more, embarking on yet another journey into the unknown.
No job, just some projects, some ideas, and a great deal of passion to push me through.
